Captive Thoughts

Bad Theology or A Better Relationship?

So on Friday I posted a blog about the book Angry Conversations with God. My blog imports itself into Facebook as a means for me to keep my digital life connected. I have friends on Facebook who do not read this blog at it’s web home because they didn’t/don’t know it exists.

So when the above mentioned entry imported itself into Facebook my friend Bill made a comment about the entry. His comment was, “being mad at God is a result of very bad theology, not tough life experiences.”

Now first off let me say a couple things. Although Bill and I have never met in person (or at least not that I remember). We both have served in a similar style ministries and I consider him a friend and not some random troll out to cause issues. I do not consider Bill’s comment as something negative.

I asked Bill to further explain his thoughts and he did. I haven’t been able to read and digest everything he wrote yet but I do want to share some of my initial thoughts.

For some, my blatant, honest, and unguarded conversations with God are disrespectful to Him. For some being angry, confused, hurt, upset, etc are unjust emotions to take/give or displace on God.

I used to subscribe to many of those same thoughts. I chose my words wisely, went to God with much fear, and always tried to be the good little girl.

But here’s the thing – in acting like that I didn’t let God be all He could be. God is not surprised by what I feel – He created me. He knows where my short comings are, what sets me off, etc. He also knows the depth of my emotions and the grandeur of how I feel them. Part of His recreation of me – was renewing my heart to a point where a Hallmark commercial can make me cry and the length at which I will go to protect.

For me to be anything other than who I am in my conversations with Him just seems like I am only giving Him part of me. It’s only shows the heads side of the coin and acting like the tails side doesn’t exist.

Why would God ask us to join Him in a relationship if we were only allowed to show and say the good stuff? How many of your Earthly relationships only contain the happiness, joy, and the other good feelings/emotions? I can’t think of one Earthly relationship where it’s all good. Every friend I have has weathered a storm with me. They have been there with me when I needed to talk through the hurt, pain, and confusion. They have also been there when we laughed so hard we were in tears.

I cannot fathom that God only wants the cleaned up version of me. That I am only allowed to speak to Him if I am polite, calm, and have no issues. Even my earthly father (who is not the greatest father on Earth) doesn’t want that. He wants me to be able to talk to him no matter what I am feeling and if my Earthly Father wants that – how can God not?

I can’t sit here and line out verse after verse to prove my point but I can tell you this – when I started having open and honest communication with God everything changed. God interacted with more love and compassion than ever before. He sat and listened and responded. He helped me learn to see His plan. He showed me more of Himself in His people than ever before.

God became more of a Father because I let myself be more known by Him.  Maybe it’s bad theology – I dunno but I have a better relationship with Him because of it.

P.S. Bill and I have spoke and we both know – that we are more than likely going to agree to disagree but we are ok with that. No harm no foul.